Called Higher
A poem about craving the high, drowning in the low, and being raised to new life
by Taylor O’Lynn
When I used to smoke weed
I think I craved the feeling
of fire in my chest to remind
me what it felt like to be alive
But no one’s ever died from pot
maybe not
but tell that to the part of me
that never lived without it.
Cozy – Smoked out
pass out on the couch
3 bowls deep of reeces cereal
watching rereuns, watching time,
watching my life like
smoke from my lips
It’s all natural
It helps me sleep
No need to count sheep
Roll up the sheet
God made it, it’s fine
I’ve done it a long time
There’s no way I’ll ever put it down
Feel uneasy?
Maybe sort of queasy?
We could fix it with a breezy.
Roll it up, lick it – sleazy
Doesn’t matter if you’re wheezy
Give it just a minute, we’ll get some mac n cheesy
Now I feel a little lazy
my brain’s a little hazy
thoughts moving slow but
the voices screaming crazy
maybe need another blazy
just to keep the demons quiet.
When I used to smoke weed,
The lies crept in through my ears
settled in my throat
let me choke
on the sound of darkness
You’re not worth it
the world’s better off if
Hop in the car real quick,
find a short road, the gas – hit
the blunt, the pedal. accelerate
but, it wasn’t like that all the time
no, not when I was high
That’s how I felt alive
it was once I was deprived that
I ran to find the light
but I was battling the lies
clouded up my eyes
I was blind,
braille bruised demise
sleepwalking to my grave
with my hands tied
Until He pried them open
Woke up to the prize
When I tell people that I don’t smoke weed anymore
They don’t try to convince me that I should
But they start to defend why they do
As if my mere proclaim to abstain
Pokes at their conviction begging for rebuttal
I’m not here to argue but
I know that it’s not true
That our God didn’t call you
to roll up the plants He made to
inhale or impale
your lungs into a sanctuary
the heart to the altar
my mind to be altered
He never told me to escape
instead of endure
He never told me to numb what
He came to Heal
He revealed
His messages concealed until
I turned it over in kind
“Be alert and of sober mind.
Your enemy the devil prowls
around like a roaring lion
looking for someone to devour.”
In this modest hour
The world that we stand
Cursed is the land
That tries to knock us down
But tell me, how
are we supposed to be
equipped to see
our destiny
when I spend all
of my days asleep?
How am I supposed to stand
when I know my knees are weak?
How am I supposed to fight
when I keep my sword sheathed?
where can I find the key
the one that’s meant to set me free?
Look –
We live in a system
that recoils from the kingdom
man made religion
tryna take away my freedom
what’ll finally happen when I can’t play the victim
look upon the wisdom
why would a man make
what a man can’t take
it’s staring at your face
too much self-control
too much grace
not enough my pace
not enough my taste
I thought we were talking about weed
Why are you jumping my case
See –
I called it peace,
but peace don’t sit on your chest in the middle of the night
I called it medicine,
but medicine don’t make you crave the sickness.
Called it freedom,
but why’d I fiend when the jar ran dry?
Called it healing,
but I was just too high to hear my own cries.
Kept my Bible shut,
kept my prayers brief,
kept my spirit dim,
so I could find quick relief.
But relief ain't the same as sanctity,
and paralysis ain't the same as peace.
I was never free—
I was just too numb to feel the leash.
Chained – don’t be fazed
All the grass I’ve grazed
I was dazed, crazed, enslaved
Until mercy called, I was saved
Like Lazarus raised
my death – erased
my sin – displaced
my mess and pain
He embraced
I once blazed, lost in haze,
now I stand, in awe – amazed